How to CONQUER the FEAR of FAILURE to become SUCCESSFUL!
I know starting a business is hard. Some days I wonder why I even started this road.
It feels like I can never get there. Then I get caught up in my head. This is where the Fear of Failure kicks in.
Chapter 1: Fear of Failure – The Worry of Public Humiliation
The Fear of Failure has two sides to the coin.
The one is the worry of actually failing your mission. The impact that failing will have on your responsibilities and family’s finance. This is a real thought to consider. Starting a business is taking a risk. The good part is: Risk can bis calculated. You can make it more safe and stable. It depends on your angle. There are many different options for starting your business. Check out my other Videos for that.
The second side of the coin is the worry of public humiliation. This worry should not be important to you. You are a Man on a Mission. Your goal is make good decisions for your family. Behind this reason is the Fear of Men. You should not be afraid of what other people think of you! Don’t get stuck there, because it let’s your responsibilities down. Make the best decision that you can and accept that people will always talk.
Chapter 2: The Self Fulfilling Prophecy – You never really tried!
The problem with the Fear of Failure is that it can become a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.
That is the real danger here. I have three thoughts on this:
- Never Starting
- Half Committing
- Always Excuses
I know all three of them well. I have been there. It kept me going slower and slower. Let’s take a closer look on each, because they are all connected. They don’t just add to each other, but multiply with each other. So all together make up a huge mess for you.
NEVER STARTING:
Because you think: “Who am I to even try it” or with other self doubt and fear of people, you will never even get started. You give up before you started. This one is where most people get stuck. Many people like the idea of starting a business and dream about one day starting one. That day sadly never comes.
Starting won’t hurt you. Like Nike says: “Just do it”. What do you have to lose? I know that starting is hard, but trust me on this. Once you get started it gets easier.
HALF COMMITTING:
There is a difference between TRYING and GIVING IT ALL YOU GOT! That difference is huge. When I was doing my year abroad in the states – I knew I wanted to play American Football. I have only seen it once before, but it seemed like it would complete my experience. So when I was getting ready – I got in. It was pretty hard. I wasn’t used to that much sport, but I was committed and didn’t want to give in. Many boys showed up for practice week, but also quiet a few left after the first month again. It was to hard. They were not in to stick with it.
Commit yourself to giving it a real shot. That is a difference then trying. Make a plan that is also realistic to get some results. Many people start on YouTube and after the first Video decide to quit. I can tell you from experience. 1 Video is not going to do anything on YouTube. You need to stick with it for longer.
This is where the 100 Day Challenge comes in. Commit to giving it your best for 100 Days. After that you can decide to go back. But for those days you are in and you’re giving it all you’ve got. This is better than to keep trying and not doing it. The half commitment doesn’t get you anywhere.
ALWAYS EXCUSES:
My grandpa has this saying: “Someone has died before – because he didn’t have another excuse anymore.” Point is that nobody has every died, because of lack of excuses. You have never heard of one, right?
So what where his reasons for telling me this? Because I kept making excuses. Making excuses can get you out of anything and everything. Over time we get really good at making socially acceptable excuses.
The interesting thing is: It is never our fault! We don’t own up to our own mistakes. We always push it on something else. YouTube didn’t like my video. The timing was off. The weather wasn’t good. The email didn’t sent. He didn’t pick up the phone.
Just stop making excuses. Learn to own up and take responsibility. Then we can all move on. If you actually want to do something – Commit to 100 Days – After the 100 Days go back and check. If you don’t like it. That’s okay. If you didn’t see the results and want to quit. That’s okay. You don’t need any excuses.
THE SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY
The real problem is: Fear of Failure is always right.
- When you don’t start – you failed.
- When you didn’t commit – you failed.
- When you make an excuse – you failed.
This is the real problem. Until you are winning and doing it – you will always be right with failure.
So being afraid of what is the truth – also doesn’t get you where you want to be.
I was so afraid my Wife – then a lady at my church – was going to say “no” to me asking her out. That I waited for weeks to finally ask. When I realised that I needed to ask – to actually go out with her. I had to step up and ASK! I know how much fear I had, but I would not have married her, if I didn’t ask. So to get where you want to be – You need to take the fear and still do it anyways!
She happily said yes and now we are already married for more than 3 years. All because I didn’t let my FEAR control me. Yeah I was afraid, but I wanted to go out with her even more. I enjoy being married, but if I would’ve stuck with my fear – I would probably still be single.
Chapter 3: The Overwhelm of Success – You don’t know what winning means!
Now we can get to the fun part: WINNING! I love me some good victory. I enjoy winning. Who doesn’t, right?
There is one thing though – What if we don’t know how success looks. We have a dream, but it seems pretty far fetched.
This is what keeps the Fear of Failure alive in me. I don’t know how success in business feels like. I’m really getting close, but I don’t think I am there yet. With that comes that I doubt myself. Can I actually pull it off?
This is what I call the Overwhelm of Success. We don’t know what we don’t know. We don’t know what winning means. We see the Mountain that we want to climb, but we are not on top yet. This is true for many things, but especially the business world. There are many visions, dreams and hopes connected to it, but we haven’t seen much success around us.
It feels overwhelming to us, because it is hard to get there. This is also feeding our Fear of Failure. We doubt that our dream can become reality. This is slowing us down so often. I can speak from experience here. People comment something and I take it straight to heart. The doubt can creep in so easily.
This is just where we need to set up a system that will get us to success and act on it. Not letting us get distracted in the process. It helps to have a community of like minded people.
That is my mission with this YouTube Channel. To start a community for Men and Dads alike to share their journey of starting a business. Just leave a comment underneath, saying: On Board!
